How to Get Your Ex Back

Breaking up is one of the most difficult things that can happen in one’s love life, especially if things didn’t end in a way that the relationship is unsalvageable. You may not understand what strategy to employ to help your ex notice you or desire to try again. You might be worried about acting out in a way that might only serve to push him or her further away.

How do you know if you’re attempts to get closure or to reconnect are working or pushing an ex further away? How do you know if you’re acting desperate, or if you’re showing that you can manage without him or her? If it’s a relationship worth fighting for (and not one which you are simply being codependent or settling for something abusive), then before you give up or act out in a way that pushes a loved one away, try out the 5 different strategies below:


1. Say one, last sincere apology

If possible, say one last sincere apology after the breakup. Perhaps your breakup didn’t go so well and you feel like there’s no closure towards the end of your relationship. Saying one last apology that’s sincere can help you relieve the pain that’s brought about by the confusion of a messy breakup. It’s your choice if you still want to meet in person or if you want to leave a message. Whatever you think is the most appropriate way to give your sincerest apologies, gratitude, and appreciation for the relationship, do so. Do not repeat this step over and over again, as this might push your ex away even more.


2. Avoid contact

This may sound counterintuitive to the plans of getting your ex back. However, this is a time where you can give your ex some space to think about the good times in your relationship. This will also give them the opportunity to miss your presence. If you keep on making yourself available even after the breakup, all they would think about are the reasons why you shouldn’t be together anymore. In some cases, absence can make the heart grow fonder, as they say. Do not attempt to message them more after your apology.


3. Still be in touch with mutual friends

If you and your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend have mutual friends, make sure to still be in touch with them. Do not overdo this step, though. It can be helpful to still meet up with them every once in a while so that your ex will feel like you’re out of their life, but still somewhat a part of it. It’s a strategic situation to be in. There will be instances where the two of you can be invited to certain events. Be okay with this, and be civil with your ex when these situations arise. Do not act hurt or affected.


4. Don’t be all over them when they reach out to you

Unless your relationship ended acrimoniously, it is likely your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend will start to miss you. At this point they may try to reach out, either by messaging you are asking you to come see them. When this happens, don’t be all over them. Be accommodating to them, but at the same time, don’t be wrapped in their fingers. Let them feel that you have a life but at the same time, you appreciate that they still made an effort to contact you again. After all, you can never be sure of what would happen during this stage. You can get back together, but it doesn’t mean that the relationship could work out for the good.


5. Live your life

Living your life doesn’t just mean showing off to your ex. It just means sincerely looking for hobbies and opportunities to improve yourself. Doing things just to fill in the void will tire you. Only do things where you know you can find fulfillment. This works in two ways. It’s either you will learn to move on if your relationship is not meant to be, or your ex will come to you realizing how great of a person you are. Whatever the result is, it’s a win-win situation. However, if you try to flaunt in the wrong way that you are seeing new people or have moved on, it could push an ex away or may feel orchestrated, so remember to employ this step in a prudent way.

Getting an ex back is something that a lot of heartbroken people want to do. Although it’s not a guaranteed success all the time, it’s still possible in some situations to make your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend to recommit.