Does Dreaming of Your Ex Mean They Are Thinking Of You?

It depends on the dream.

Before analyzing a dream it is important to understand how dreaming works. Images, actions, and symbols in dream often pertain to something that is going on within the dreamers emotional life rather than their ex’s. After all, how many individuals have experienced reoccurring dreams regarding an ex and yet nothing transpired from them in a way to determine them to be purely precognitive? This is because most dreams do not function this way.

Occasionally dreams can be precognitive or empathic, but most function as internal processing of the dreamers feelings regarding situations, events, and relationships. For the average person, dreams focus on the self and our personal thoughts, our hopes or fears. This can include our feelings concerning how others perceive us or the shared relationship.

Sometimes we pick up projections of another person’s hopes, fears, or emotions and these become intertwined within our dreams. But, in general, it is best to see dreams as a way to explore deeper within yourself. Use your dreams to learn more about what makes you tick before making assumptions about your ex.

So, why do I dream of my ex?

Many of us dream of our ex’s because they had important lessons to teach us about love. We learn from them what we hope for in a relationships, what patterns or blocks we have when it comes to love. Some questions to consider are below:

1. Is your ex metaphorically living with you because you think of them often?

Being “with” someone in a dream can even indicate emotionally living ones life “with” that person–idealistically or otherwise. A question to ask is, “Are you dreaming of your ex because in some way you are keeping them close to you? Are you thinking about them all the time, so that they are living with you in some regard?

2. Are you dreaming of your ex because they represent a romantic ideal?

Dreaming of a particular love interest can indicate they represent an ideal partner. For example, I often dream about Brad Pitt romantically, even though I don’t think of him much in waking life. My subconscious remembers the movies I’ve seen of him. Part of me thinks, “Wow, he’s the ideal, attractive, sensual, and charming lover.” Our exes, if we are still idealize them and how they made us feel, can represent the same kind of fantasy or ideal.

3. Do you have a lack of closure or left over debris?

Sometimes, dreaming about an ex simply means there is left-over psychic debris, unprocessed emotions, or unlearned lessons. Some of this can even be from past lives. A lack of closure can cause you to be subconsciously waiting for an ex to return which can reflect in your dream content. If you have more stressful dreams of your ex, your mind could be processing old irritations, hurts, or frustrations.

4. Are you dreaming about your ex because they represent a period where a pattern started?

I have regular and recurrent dreams of certain high school friends. I never thought of them in waking life. I dreamed about them because they all stand for something. They are points in my life where a certain emotional pattern started. For example, I looked up to the cool girl in high school and hoped she approved of me. So, when I see her in dreams, she symbolizes the cool girl who I wanted to be like and who I wanted to meet her approval. If you are dreaming of your ex, could they be there to show you where a pattern started–positive or negative?

Summary of things to note when dreaming of someone repeatedly:

1. Recurring dream themes or content with a specific person: Usually represents the lessons you have to learn from the person, hopes, fears, feelings of feeling at home with the person. Also, recurring people in dreams, even friends, especially of past can symbolize old psychological complexes that still affect you in the present, or left-over karmic or psychic debris that is circling around in your energy field.

2. Time element: How old is everyone in the dream? If its someone way past, it still means your living out that energy/trauma/hurt/unfulfilled hope that started at that time, especially if in the dreams you are both that younger age and appearance.

3. Symbols: What do the recurring people in your dreams symbolize to you? Some are people we see as threatening, some as desirable, some as smart, some as funny, some as comrades or confidants, some as life long loves, and some as unrequited loves. Your dream could merely be about the symbol. What other symbols are in the dreams and what do they represent? Are there any that frequently reoccur?

None of the above necessarily means that your ex isn’t thinking of you or that you aren’t empathic. Empathy does happen with dreams. But the truth is, you won’t know unless a situation arises where you can talk to your ex or risk reaching out to connect with him to see his reaction. In such cases, it might be better to approach dreams from what you can learn from them. If you go strait to thinking they are proof of an empathic connection before seeing what they indicate about your own psyche, you could be engaging in a form of spiritual bypassing and missing a higher lesson you could learn.